The Butcher of Kuala Lumpur

Melayu mudah lupa

Yezzaa.

Remaja merupakan golongan yang berumur di antara 13 hingga 19 tahun. Namun, tidak harus dilupakan bahawa ada juga golongan Melayu yang berumur di antara 20 ke 50 tahun yang merasakan diri mereka tergolong dalam golongan remaja. Hei, banyaknya perkataan golong, ya? Ewah.

Jiran saya, Mamat. Mamaattt, yang selalu bau kentut tu. Kenapa? Entahlah. Mungkin sebab dia mudah sangat nak berak, dan mudah sangat nak lupa cuci taik.

Melayu mudah lupa…

Kita yang hidup di alaf baru ini - yang orang putih panggil “New Millennium” - seharusnya peka terhadap isu-isu semasa yang sedang membelenggu masyarakat muda kita… apa nama… “the new generation”. Kalau kita perhatikan, sekarang, ramai di kalangan kita, dan terutamanya bangsa Melayu, yang mudah… ah… mudah apa… apa nama tu… ah, ya, erm… mudah lupa.

Mungkin kamu kenal nama “Bill Gates”… atau pun nama penuhnya “William Henry Gates III”… ah, mesti kamu nak tau macam mana saya tahu nama penuh Bill Gates. Adalah…

Maksud saya, Melayu memang mudah lupa.

Oleh hal yang demikian, tidak dilupai juga, berikutan dengan itu, dan berakhirlah mukadimah setakat ini.

Ewah.

Tags: Bill Gates Malaysia, Malaysia, Melayu

My name is Pak Loh

Hi there, assalamualaikum!

What’s up my Malay brothers? Oops, I meant Malaysian of course! Oh, my name? Obdolloh Achmad Betawi. YEAH it’s a MOUTHFUL I knowww! Don’t you just hate people with long names you can’t pronounce. Hey, tell you what, you go on ahead and call me Pak Loh. Robyn Brant from Kelang says it means “Uncle”. So yeah, I’m kind of the generic brother your daddy/mommy never told you about.

That Brant fellow’s quite a rambler, let me tell you. He was asking me just the other day if I regretted being pushed out. ME? I? I am the BAPAK er… BAPAK MALAYSIA kurun ke-21! Seriously.

Then there’s that cunt, Chindra Mousaphar, who tells people I was weak, and reluctant. I sure wasn’t weak nor reluctant when I rammed it up yours, eh Muzaffar? Eh? Eh?

I hate all you media people and ISIS-political-expert-wannabes. Cunts, that what you are. Arrrr!

Of course, we can’t forget what Mister Ebrahim told me in August after “winning” (I don’t call 31,195 out of 47,000 a win: 66% is a C grade in school terms and my dad whipped me good if I couldn’t even manage a B!) Permitong Peuh. What the fuck does he mean when he says that I “must take heed of the sentiments and the call of Malaysians”. As far as I’m concerned, all that Malaysians ever call for is more money and less working days. Sentiments? You know what Malaysians get sentimental about? Nasi cuntsy lemak and teh fucking tarik. Not human rights reform or social equality.

Seriously. I hope Jeennye’s ready to give head tonight cause I’m feeling like sheet.

Assalamualaikum and Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Maaf Zahir dan Batin! Malaysia Boleh!

Tags: Anwar, Badawi, Ibrahim, Jeanne Abdullah, Kuala Lumpur, Malay, Melayu, Najib, Pak Lah, seks, sex, UMNO