The Butcher of Kuala Lumpur

Speed Dating for Nerds - 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009

Ahmad looked across the rusty rims of his warped spectacles, trying to make out the long-haired figure seated maybe 50 metres away from his seat at the stylish Starbucks at Jalan Nyiur. His young blood boiled when he saw that it was indeed a person of the female persuasion, and then trained his failing eyesight on her broad, straight shoulders.

It really is all he could ever do, poor Ahmad. Poor, poor Ahmad.

Ahmad’s one of those really creepy drool-boys just dying to get to know girls. He’ll walk up just close enough to follow her into the lift, smell her perfume and pretend to fight for the buttons. He’d make sure their fingers brush, he’d laugh at it - never getting a response better than the icy stare - and then smile when they’re realise they’re “going out on the same floor”.

But Ahmad was in a super good mood this time. He’d just paid RM50 to register himself for the 6th MSC Malaysia’s Innotech event at Berjaya Times Square. Sure, he was interested in pitching his ideas to one or two big shots, networking with like-minded bizpreneurs of technology and showing up at one of the year’s most awaited events. But it was an item he spied on the agenda that really got him all psyched up to attend.

The MSC speed date event. Ahmad just couldn’t wait to meet all those sexy geek-ladies and power-females all waiting to date him in short exciting 1-minute bursts.

Little did Ahmad know that a certain Nini Dee - sitting in front of her gmail and Facebook at 11pm that night - was thinking the exact same thing

Tags: 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009

Successful High-Flying Technopreneur buys smart casual shirt for 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009

Eyewitnesses at the Suria KLCC shopping centre claimed yesterday evening that Mahmud Aman, one of Malaysia’s 22,572 successful high-flying technopreneurs, entered Arzoo - a high-street fashion boutique - to purchase a smart casual shirt. Mahmud made a name for himself in the not-so-crowded scene of Malaysian technopreneurs when he sold his idea of online loitering or “lepak” to the government, taking millions of loitering school children off the streets, allowing them to loiter in virtual 3D shopping locations on the Internet.

Arzoo sales assistant Jay Choo believes that this was further proof that MSC Malaysia is now attracting increasingly fashionable and relevant youths to its events. Jay went on to explain that Mahmud, who was torn between choosing a cashmere turtle-neck that accentuated his soft and supple boy-man chest and an Indian cotton pullover that just brought out the caramel in his eyes, had just been invited to MSC Malaysia’s premier event: the 6th InnoTech symposium, to be held in Berjaya Times Square on 17 and 18 November.

“I heard that Berjaya’s really class. All the girls wear mini skirts and the men are 8 feet tall. Mahmud’s definitely a fit for that group. Wish I were there, holding his cocktail for him, giggling at his intelligent jokes,” gushed Jay.

When contacted, Mahmud’s private secretary, Ben Den, denied that this was Mahmud’s first time buying a smart casual shirt.

“Mahmud always buys smart and casual. It’s his thing. In fact, he considered the MSC event simply because - yes, exactly, smart casual was the dress code! How cool is that?”

Ben continued: “But of course, he’s also there as CEO of his own company, to attend the CEO Cocktail that MSC will organise for the FIRST time! He’s normally very humble, and would politely refuse any attempt to celebrate and recognise the success that MSC status companies such as his have achieved over the years. But as a firm believer in the concept of 1Malaysia and as an alcoholic, he couldn’t refuse this opportunity!”

Mahmud was last rumoured to have chosen the daring cashmere outfit.

Tags: 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009

Nerd Alerts 2 - 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009

Gee, guys. Nerds. What turns you on, I wonder? Rousing cries of “Nerds of Malaysia unite”? Uncensored Animal Kingdom?

What about the extremely sexy catch phrase: “Innovating Success in the New Economy”?

Oh yeah, I see you smiling and nodding. I knew you freaks would like the sound of it. That, I can tell you, is going to be the key phrase of this InnoTech event I told you about yesterday. Held on 17 and 18 November at Berjaya Times Square, this event promises to whet your appetite for amazingly mind-numbing knowledge sharing sessions, facilitate geek networking and engage yourself in techo-banter with dudes from local companies and like-minded technopreneurs.

I can’t tell you just how PERFECT this event will be for you. Dress code is “Smart Casual” so yes, that means you can wear those stupid-looking sneakers, that god-awful Scooby-Doo tie and that tastefully shite cap from ComicCon.

Even the super hot and super crazy dudette Chicsinred can’t stop talking about it in between her emo posts and cat photos. I’m telling you, again, that this event is blazing like a Facebook spam attack.

Need the seriously boring but wonderfully important details of the event? Head on over to Sharil Dewa (the God of Semi-cool). Don’t forget to jot down those details in your grubby, sticky, notepad. You won’t want to miss the event. No. Never.

Tags: 6th MSC Malaysia InnoTech 2009