The Butcher of Kuala Lumpur

10 Things

10. If you watch any football - specifically the English Premier League - then you’ll remember the poor idiots telling us how much land they’ve bought through Profitable Plots or PP (some UK real estate agent, too lazy to research). Even Shebby disgustingly puts out and claims to have bought a plot in the UK. This season, last week even, PP ads still run on Astro’s sports channels, though there’re no more commentators embarassing themselves. I think there’s one ad that boldly claims a 125% return over 3 years.

Well after today’s BBC report that UK homes are at their lowest prices for 34 years - 15% cheaper than they were exactly a year ago (when the PP ads ran) - I think a lot of people will be feeling really bummed up. And since we’re all expecting Brown to finally confirm recession in a week’s time…

…elsewhere in the Commonwealth, MALAYSIA is confident of sustainable property prices. I love Malaysia. OUr oil, timber, rice, ringgit and everything else is sustainable. There must be some magical pipe in the Agong’s palace that spews out wealth.

9. I remember the day when our Ringgit was pegged at 3.75 with misty eyes and fondness of heart. I’m happy to report that despite the dollar US economy taking a severe beating in recent months, our super Ringgit is 3.54 against the greenback. Something tells me if, as expected, the USD recovers in due years, I’ll be enjoying the good old days again.

8. Eurocopters aren’t the only thing put on hold. Our National Futsal League too has been postponed due to the “economic slowdown”. Our Sports Ministry ought to pay attention to the government. Haven’t they heard that Malaysia won’t be affected by the global credit crunchie thingie?

7. I like how Perak’s Raja Muda wants to recognise, respect, credit and want the contributions and efforts of EVERY segment of society. I vote that we acknowledge the colourful works of graffiti artists in KL. I’ll also submit an invoice to Rakan Muda for my efforts in getting schoolchildren to play more football.

6. Tomorrow we’ll know if practising YOGA makes a kafir out of a Muslim. Yeah, the National Fatwa Council will decide on Friday whether or not yoga deviates from the teachings of Islam. If you ask me, we should make TaiQi and Muay Thai (among others) illegal for Muslims too. I think all the bowing and dancing in those art forms are kinda heathen-like.

5. The faggot Azmi Sharom (sorry, dude, you’re probably an OK guy but I get gay vibes everytime I think of you) (sorry gays, nothing personal ya) thinks we need a reformer to bring Malaysia into some fantasy brave new world. Somehow I don’t think he’s the type who’s prepared for the social, political and economical anarchy, chaos and lawlessness that would come with a true reform. Unless he’s just referring to the gay, non-revolutionary, peaceful reform that happens in places like… I don’t know. Yeah I guess he does mean that huh. Faggot.

4. Back to Fatwas, you know it’s now officially kafir-like to look or dress up like a boy, if you’re a girl, right? I’d like to propose that we jail people who dress up their pets too. It’s hedonistic, unIslamic, and plain wrong.

3. All that hot water boiling up between Cambodia and Thailand just cooled down midday yesterday. I was truly disappointed. When is our region going to destabilise and collapse into all-out war? You’d like that to happen, wouldn’t you, Azmi Sharom? I just realised his name kinda sounds like Ariel Sharon, who is a Jewish ex-leader of the Zionist Regime, and therefore an enemy of Islam and Malaysia. Coincidence? I DON’T THINK SO.

2. First milk, baking powder, pet food and now EGGS. Next, the Chinese are going to use Melanine in their athletes.

1. Sorry my post of 2 days ago didn’t appear. I don’t know what happened. I think I forgot to publish it. Maybe in a few days.

Tags: China melamine, Eurocopter Malaysia, Fatwa Pengkid, melanin dalam makanan, melanin malaysia, Pondan KL, Yoga Fatwa

Rainy days and rainy nights

So it’s been a week since my last post: forgive me for that but this time I have an excuse. The rain got into our servers, and we’ve yet to get it fully backed up. We’re on a backup wireless line but it’s no good for anything else but text emails.

Meanwhile, Malaysia won an award from Britain (can’t remember the name, but I’m sure you can easily look it up if you were really that interested) for it’s super high technology SMART tunnel. Apparently, thetunnel is saving billions of ringgit in productivity and damage savings (it is one of its kind: on normal days it eases congestion by providing an expensive short cut through city traffic line and it doubles up as a flood prevention mechanism, able to channel immense amounts of rainwater from the city direct to nearby rivers).

I’m not about to buy the whole thing: there’s a lot of political lobbying and the SMART tunnel being featured on National Geographic doesn’t waver me.

Let’s look forward to tomorrow or tonight: tasty posts!

Break the Myth #1

So there’s this widely circulated notice on how most of us live on the edge when eating instant noodles. You know, we just dump in our Maggi Mee into that pot of boiling water, and then throw in the seasoning and it’s done after 2 minutes or so.

Apparently, this exposes us to an avoidable health risk!!!!! (don’t mind if I just delete one or two of your excalamation marks - ed.)This is the notice I’ve pulled off altavista:

Normally, we cook the instant noodles byputting the noodles into a pot with water, throw in the powder and let it cook for 3 mins.

Believe it or not, this is the WRONG method of cooking the instant noodles.

By doing this, when we actually boil the ingredients in the powder, normally with MSG, it will change the molecular structures of the MSG causing it to be toxic. The other thing that you may or may not realized is that, the noodles are coated with wax and it will take around 4 to 5 days
for the body to excrete the wax after you have taken the noodles.

The Correct Way

1. boil the noodles in a pot with water.
2. once the noodles is cooked, take out the noodles, and throw away the water which contains wax.
3. boil another pot of water till boiling and put the noodles into the hot boiling water and then shut the fire.
4. only at this stage when the fire is off, and while the water is very hot, put the ingredient with the powder into the water, to make noodle soup.
5. however, if you need dry noodles, take out the noodles n add the ingredient with the powder and toss it to get dry noodles.

Woo! My dad repeated this to me recently, and I’m a huge eater of pre-cooked shite, so, you know. So ok let’s break this myth:

1. MSG is a stable ingredient, just like salt - it doesn’t “become toxic” in boiling water.

2. Instant noodles are not coated with wax, but starch. Even if they were, wax is harmless and passes out as easily and quickly as dietary fibre.

Of course, I still believe the Maggi Mee I eat is toxic as hell. You only live once!

Tags: break the myth, healthy food, instant noodles, Maggi Mee, Mi Maggi, MSG, urban legend